Practice 6: Peer-editing and self-editing


PEER-EDITING


Her paragraph: The use of cell phones has changed so much if we compare this decade to the past  and in my opinion this could bring so many consequences in new generations. For some people this consequences may be fine but for me they aren't. We are starting to watch this changes in young people, especially in childrens. They see their parents using their phones all the time and for instance their own parents let them use their phones to play games, watch videos etc... More and more things are turning to be online, for example, people now read the newspaper in their phones so in a few years newspaper may dissapear. If we continue using our phones in an abusive way in the future everything will be technologic and books, magazines etc will dissapear. 

My correction: The use of cell phones has changed so much if we compare this decade to the past ones decades and. In my opinion, this could bring so many consequences in new generations. For some people this consequences may be fine but for me they aren't. We are starting to watch this changes in young people, especially in childrens. They see their parents using their phones all the time and, for instance their own parents let them use their phones to play games, watch videos, etc... More and more things are turning to be online, for example, people now read the newspaper in their phones so in a few years newspaper may dissapear. If we continue using our phones in an abusive way in the future everything will be technologic electronic, so and books or magazines will dissapear. 

SELF-EDITING


My paragraph: Nowadays, the continuous use of cell phones is a very controversial topic because it causes a lot of problems. For one thing, there are a lot of parents that buy cell phones to their younger sons at a very early age. For example, they give their cell phones while they are eating, so, it causes very bad habits since childhood. Having cell phones can be also very addictive to teenagers because of social media. I think that addiction is so unhealthy because you could have problems such as headache and eyestrain in a very close future.


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